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The Complexity of our lifelong “self-states” (part two)

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The limbic imprints of the infant brain come from facial expressions, tone of voice and touch etc. that can start in-utero and come from a myriad of social interchanges with whoever has contact with the child.  Touch, voice, tone, and facial expressions “… become emotional “Attractors” which come to fore and “play out our unconscious knowledge in every unthinking move we make in the dance of loving”.[iv]

These imbedded emotional inscriptions do not occur without social interchange. The Attractors remain camouflaged in our limbic brain and emerge to create our attractions for some circumstances (danger, serenity), environments (sounds, smells, tastes), people (male, female, tall, thin), and relationships and our rejection of others.

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The Complexity of our lifelong “self-states”

bigstock-Surreal-Cubist-Eyes-And-Faces-7736887_resizeOur personal relationship histories and how we make meaning is fundamental. Daniel J. Siegel is a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA school of medicine and says that “…in these ways, history and present context shape whichever “self” is organized in the moment. As relationship experiences are repeated, these “self-states” become repeatedly engrained and develop their own histories and patterns of activity across time.”[i] It is our contention that all of our “self-states” (parts) plus a Self (the internal spark of the Divine) are what ultimately constitutes a human being.

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Like particle systems, The Faces We Live are Systems Too

bigstock-Surreal-Cubist-Eyes-And-Faces-7736887 (1) “Like particle systems, our selves are partially integrated systems of subselves that still from time to time assert their own identities.” Danah Zohar

What would it look like to have a ‘subself” or ‘part’ assert its own identity?

For an example, you have a part of yourself that is fiercely independent and loves privacy. Unexpectedly, you are faced with a failing elderly parent who needs you to care for them.

Having exhausted all possible alternatives, the situation falls solely on your shoulders alone.

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The Quantum Self

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“Faith” is a fine invention When Gentlemen can see, But Microscopes are prudent In an Emergency.” — Emily Dickinson

 

A variety of social, psychological and theological disciplines attempt to describe human nature and/or the fundamental consciousness of individuals.

In these next few blogs, as I struggle to find alternative ways to describe The Many Faces We Live and the importance of knowing our internal selves, I will address this topic from features as seen through the lens of quantum physics. In particular, insights gleaned from the work of The Quantum Self by Danah Zohar.

First, however, a disclaimer; it’s not so much that I understand quantum physics-are you kidding me-as it is that I sort of intuit some of its overall purposed landscape.

For example, in describing matter, some theories in quantum physics, point to the wave-particle duality, which states, “…that both the wavelike and the particlelike aspects of being must be considered when trying to understand the nature of things…”[1]

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THE STORY TELLERWITHIN

Storyteller gourd art

When Jeanette and I first saw the Storyteller Gourd while attending a conference in Santa Fe, New Mexico we knew it was the perfect image to depict the vast internal family or parts that make up each and every human being. The following Blog Series will incorporate excerpts from our unpublished book entitled THE STORY TELLERWITHIN: with FASTFEET and LITTLE FINGERS .

In the last decade there is confirmation of a movement toward understanding and appreciating cultural and epistemological diversity. This movement and appreciation for diversity is increasing in our educational, health, and religious institutions. Ecologically we are becoming aware of the necessity to understand and protect bio/ecological diversity. Have we researchers, however, spent enough time reflecting on the diversity of the human being itself, psychically, intrapsychically and interpersonally? This diversity lends itself not only to a multiplicity of being and of relating, but also is a fertile source of creativity and insight.

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“I don’t know what got into me”

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There is no such thing as a single human being, pure and simple, unmixed with other human beings. Personality is a world in himself, a company of many. That self … is a composite structure … formed out of countless, never-ending influences and exchanges between others and ourselves. These other persons are in fact, therefore, part of ourselves … we are members of one another.” Dr. Joan Riviere

Have you ever had the experience of doing or saying something then found yourself saying, “I don’t know what got into me?”
Most everyone I know has answered this question in the affirmative. This kind of common experiences is precisely what this blog site, The Faces We Live, is about.
We humans are not made up of one singular self, but many selves, which change according to the person and/or circumstances which they face.
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It’s Finished, It’s Finished!

bigstock-Surreal-Cubist-Eyes-And-Faces-7736887_resizeIt’s finished, it’s finished! It seemed posting excerpts from my book, Ragdoll Redeemed: Growing up in the Shadow of Marilyn Monroe would never end. My reason for blogging these excerpt’s was to bide time to decide if I wanted to continue writing. Despite the fact that I have two published books I do not consider myself a writer and since writing is quite difficult for me it is not a task that I take pleasure in or am remain committed.

On the other hand, I am totally committed to the initial purpose of my blog which was an opportunity to talk about the many faces we live. I ended my book (last blog) by referring too many of my personal parts/faces.

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The Many Faces of a Ragdoll Redeemed

grandma & dawn 8Many years have passed since Grandmother left us. I now have my own prayer table. The Mary statue graces the center of my own “altar.” Her original, beautiful colors have faded, and she has been broken and reglued more times than I can count.  She is discolored, disfigured, and just plain old. But she has not lost any of the power Mary-Picture_0011my grandmother’s nightly prayers instilled in her to perform miracles, hear  prayers, and empower a believer with holy energy. Every time I look at her I feel the bountiful endowment of God’s grace, the myriad of unending prayers. Some of sorrow and others  of comfort, peace and gratitude, poured out before her presence by my grandmother. One day, when I pass on, perhaps this humble and rather pitiful-appearing treasure will end up in a heap in some obscure place, but the comfort that her presence has bestowed  on the young and old can never be diminished.

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Family Legacies As Burdens

When Bill died four years ago, I was able to facilitate my children’s grief and farewells. By their own choice they had not spoken with him in several years, but I felt that grieving his passing was paramount to their healing journey.  We lit candles and wished him well on his crossing. They whispered their regrets. I felt blessed to have been given such softness in my heart toward him.

My children no longer had to carry the heavy stone of family wounds heaped upon them by their parents.

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Ragdoll Redeemed, Toxic Parenting

bigstock-Surreal-Cubist-Eyes-And-Faces-7736887_resizeOops! This week I posted an excerpt from my book, Ragdoll Redeemed out of sequence. When I realized my mistake, I immediately posted the two previous scheduled excerpts as a corrective measure. Hence, three posts this week.

As the following information relates to the title of my blog site, The Faces We Live (The PARTS of us or aspects of ourselves that often run our lives without our explicit permission) toxic parenting helps us to understand how we have become who we are today. Nevertheless, as I have stated elsewhere;