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Why children don`t tell

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Why children don`t tell Posted by Boriana Todorova on May 2, 2013 in Education, Voice

What if you tell and you get into trouble?  What if you tell and your family gets hurt like the abuser says. What if you tell and no one believes you?

There are many possible reasons why children do not report the sexual abuse. These are some of the reasons why sexually abused children never tell, and in fact the silence is what empowers the abuser…

1) Children don`t have the language for it, they don`t know what is sex ,touching, penetration…All this is a completely new thing for them and they just don`t know how to describe it.

2) Children don`t make a difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior.

3) Children are usually warned by their parents not to trust strangers, but in fact only 5-6 % of the sexually abused children are abused by strangers. In all the other cases-the abuser is someone who the child knows-a parent, a relative, a family friend, a teacher, a coach, a priest…

4) Children don`t realize this is an abuse and a crime if it does not cause them physical pain.

5) Children feel guilty if they feel physical pleasure, which is just a natural body response to the sexual stimulation, but physiological pleasure does not mean an emotional pleasure, and this is difficult for children to understand.

6) Children are ashamed of the abuse, and of themselves in general

7) Children are afraid that if they tell everyone will blame them for the abuse.

8)Children believe the abuse was their own fault, because they did not do anything to stop it.

9) Children think this is something that happens to all children.

10) Children think no one will believe their story.

11) Children are afraid of being punished, rejected, or not believed

12) Children believe they might be hurt even worst by the abuser if they try to resist

13) Children are afraid for themselves and their families, in case that the abuser is aggressive and threatening.

“Child Sexual Abuse is a worldwide epidemic.  Society’s approach to ending the cycle of sexual abuse against children is not working and, every day, children continue to be victimized.  The repercussions of abuse extend far beyond the victim resulting in devastating consequences and collateral damage to family, friends and society as a whole.  As responsible adults, we have an obligation to protect our most vulnerable citizens.” http://riseaboveabuse.org/ending-the-cycle-of-sexual-abuse/

William Lynch, founder of his non-profit, R.I.S.E. Roots for Individual & Social Empowerment,  story begins nearly 4 decades ago in May of 1975. “While at a church-sanctioned camping trip in northern California, I was raped, sodomized and strangled by Rev. Jerold Lindner, a Catholic priest.  I was seven years old.”

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