Archives for June 2013

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“Experts” discounted stories of incest… (excerpts from Ragdoll Redeemed)

The Way We Never WereSANDWICHED BETWEEN TELEVISION shows touting moral values, such as Ozzie and Harriet and Father Knows Best, were coffee tables acceptably littered with girly magazines like Playboy Magazine. So it seems odd to me that the 1950s is still considered to epitomize the generation of the ideal family, when just beneath the “happy family” façade was often an atmosphere of violence, terror, and alcoholism. We’ll never now to what extent this occurred, since women who reported it in those days were thought to merely be having sexual fantasies. “Experts” discounted stories of incest, giving it a one-in-a-million probability. Battered women were often thought to have provoked their husband into abusing them.

I don’t recall the exact sequence of events, or which man came first, but for a while I allowed myself to be passed around the neighborhood like a sexual ragdoll in exchange for cookies and candy.

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It’s not your fault

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It’s not your fault

 

The single most important words a victim of abuse needs to hear is: IT”S NOT YOUR FUALT!

 

“You couldn’t have done anything differently to make them love you and not hurt you. You adapted your own behavior to do what you needed to do at the time as a child to keep yourself safe. We were made to feel like it was our fault.

 

We are left with a whole bunch of feelings and emotions which actually belong to the abuser. Abuse is all about the abuser. All of the feelings of guilt and responsibility belong to the abuser, not to us survivors. It wasn’t our fault.

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Children’s fear and keeping ‘secrets’

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Silver and Turquoise

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My feet were heavy with dread as I shuffled over and my stomach felt sick as I climbed into his stinky bed. He pulled me close against his damp, clammy skin. He took my hand and placed it on his penis. I tried not to breathe or move a single muscle in my body, hoping to avoid making the situation any more threatening.

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Why children don`t tell

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Why children don`t tell Posted by Boriana Todorova on May 2, 2013 in Education, Voice

What if you tell and you get into trouble?  What if you tell and your family gets hurt like the abuser says. What if you tell and no one believes you?

There are many possible reasons why children do not report the sexual abuse. These are some of the reasons why sexually abused children never tell, and in fact the silence is what empowers the abuser…

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Silver and Turquoise from Ragdoll Redeemd

 American Indian Dance

We finally arrived at our destination. I was breathless. My eyes and ears were taking in all the joyful sights and sounds of the carnival-type festivities. The various food smells were heavenly, and people shared willingly with one another. There was food in cups, food on plates, food on sticks, and all kinds of dips to stuff it all into. People spread colorful blankets everywhere for covering, sitting, and even just decorating. Among the craft tents, young and old alike were beading necklaces, bracelets, and earrings. Others were weaving things of beauty to wear or display. It was the colors that dazzled my child eyes more than what their hands were making. There were many displays of different types of rocks of all colors and shapes. I even saw fossils of dinosaurs and petrified trees. I had never seen so many things in one place.