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Bastard Child (Chapter 2) of Ragdoll Redeemed

4Dawn

(R)  Elizabeth Veronica Larkin

(L) Veronica Elizabeth Larkin, Laskavitch, Kelley, Carter

 

 

 

 

 

“The first pressure of sorrow crushes  out from our hearts the best wine; afterwards  the constant weight of it brings forth bitterness, the taste  and strain from the lees of the vat.” —Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

JULY 3, 1945, curled tightly within the embryonic sac as if I were trying to protect myself even before I was born, my mother’s bitterness passed  through the  placenta  to  me.  Her   caustic  drip  of  vengeful thoughts  toward the man who knocked her up and then abandoned her for another  etched  their  way into  the  texture  of my being.  With  an inexplicable knowing, I absorbed the angst she felt around  her unwed status. It would be years before I would understand the reason for her uncontrolled, soul-searing  sarcasm toward me and my birth. Unfortunately, reasons—even understandable ones—can never erase the scars such hatred leaves. The defacement is indelible; the deformity remains. “Shameful,  embarrassing,  defective,”  became  the  standard  by which everyone,  myself included,  measured  me. After all, as the Bible says, “The  bastard shall not enter the congregation of the Lord; even to his tenth generation”  (Deuteronomy 23:2).

***

Wiping the July sweat from her brow, my mother,  Veronica adjusts her  burgeoning belly and cries out  to her  mother,  “For  God’s sake, mother,  this child is one month overdue! I can’t take this pressure anymore! Go get me what’s left of the ice.”

Scrambling to calm her agitated daughter,  my grandmother, Elizabeth, hurries outside to retrieve the last of the ice from the old ice box on the sagging front  porch.  She is careful not  to step on any of the ancient boards that have nearly rotted  through. She smiles at her four- year-old grandson, whose dimples are almost as large as his little round cheeks. “How ya doin’, Ronnie?” she croons. (P.g. 6) To be continued………………..

51NVdAmazon pic of RD

Ragdoll Redeemed: Growing up in the Shadow of Marilyn Monroe at www.Amazon.com

 

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Ragdoll Redeemed:Growing up in the Shadow of Marilyn Monroe Chapter 1 cont
Bastard Child, from Ragdoll Redeemed, cont..