Having kept my initial commitment to post a weekly blog since July 4th, 2011, albeit quite challenging at times, I want to express my gratitude to all of you that have supported me on my “author” journey. I have experienced many surprises and have learned numerous things along the way.
Aside from the basic technical experience gleaned by muddling my way through the maze of social media, I have learned that having a commitment makes you better at whatever endeavor you have chosen to pursue.
For example, when my web master designed my blog site she used the word author Dawn Novotny. The first time I saw those words, author, I panicked. I called her and said, OMG, you have to delete that word. I am NOT an author.
She laughed at me. No, really, she laughed! She said, “Linda Joy (my writing coach and author of, The Power of Memoir–How to Write Your Healing Story) said that you would say that. Don’t worry; you will grow into the title.” I gulped, took a deep breath and stilled my pounding heart. I was so afraid that I would make a fool of myself.
Here we are, five months later and I am now an author. How do I know that? Because I say that I am, I have declared myself an author. Just like that! Commitment trumps fear.
I noticed that just saying that made my shoulders straighten with pride. I am an author because I remained committed to the process of commitment. I also remained open to my unwavering belief in the universal possibility and creativity available to all of us.
I recall the night before my first chemo treatment. I had been praying for an inspiring visualization to help me through the procedure. All of the visualizations that I read prior to that night suggested some version of blowing up the evil cancer cells. That did not work for me as I regarded my cancer cells as simply a living organism, a part of nature.
I did not want to blow them up nor did I want them in my body. I went to sleep that night sincerely asking the powers that be to give me guidance. I not only awoke with the perfect visualization but also laughing, lighthearted and in love with my cancer cells. Can you imagine? (Refer to post 10/21/11).
The dream gave me a way to realize that these cells were only doing what they were created to do, survive. As part of nature, they were doing their job perfectly. My cancer cells had lost their way of normal replication and in so doing they had to overtake my healthy cells in order to live.
Likewise with writing my blog I remained opened to universal guidance which enables receptivity and creativity despite not thinking or believing that I was an author. I worried that no one would read my blog or worse that I might be judged.
I still get scared that I will run out of ideas. I could go on and on about all of the aspects (parts) of myself that get activated, yet I continually wake up in the morning, head straight to my computer and words magically appear on the paper. I have learned that
commitment trumps fear.
To date I have written blogs in a series of topics: The Faces We Live began with the myriad of roles/parts/sub-personalities and shadow sides that constitute the makeup of every human being based on The Internal Family System model, reflecting on the ifferences between women who choose to beautify themselves and women who choose a more au natural look, my experience with cancer, my connection with Marilyn Monroe and my upcoming book, Ragdoll Redeemed: Growing up in the Shadow of Marilyn Monroe.
I am not sure where I am going from here in terms of new blog topics. But the strangest thing has happened through this 5 month blogging experience. I have fallen in love with blogging. That is the beauty of commitment. When you get to the other side of the fears and/or obstacles you feel a sense of completion or pride or you are in love with whatever it was that you committed to. I fell in love with the process.
I have learned to keep on keeping on even when I have to drag my bag of fears (parts) behind me. I have learned that commitment trumps fear.
Thank you again for following, encouraging and caring about me.