Archives for August 2011


Penchant for Pretty

It’s a girl! Ah, yes! I so want to assign my proclivity towards all things soft, sensually draped, dangly, pastel and sexy to some sort of inherent feminine trait. I want my love of makeup, cleavage and silk to be caused by my innate femaleness. However as I look at the variety of ways that women present themselves to the world, I find myself reflecting on the idea of innate femaleness, wondering if there is such a thing.

“I don’t know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot!” — Marilyn Monroe

Observing my three daughters and three granddaughters over the years has only deepened my curiosity about the nature verses nurture debate of one’s inherited versus learned


A Feminine Feminist

While the Second Wave of Feminism had not yet exploded, it was certainly smoldering in the early sixties. The movement is usually believed to have begun in 1963, when “Mother of the Movement” Betty Friedan published her bestseller The Feminine Mystique. It took a few years for the full blow explosion of the second ‘movement’ to be taken up by discontented women, especially housewives. It was unlike the First Wave of Feminism which had a primary focus on women’s right to vote, equality in property rights and changes in the marriage relationship.

We forget that our brave sisters who crusaded in the first wave fought not only for women’s right to vote but also for women’s right of ownership of her children should a divorce occur. Moreover, inconceivable as it may now seem, women had no legal recourse against rape by her husband. These are just a few of the hard earned women’s rights now secured by women in the United States.


Sexy shoes or hiking boots?


The Unintended Christmas Present


Browsing through the bookstore at the Internal Family Systems conference, my eyes locked on The Spirit-Led Life, A Christian Encounter with Internal Family Systems. I noticed the author, Mary Steege, a Presbyterian minister with a Master of Divinity degree from Duke University was also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Credentials matter to me. When a person promulgates ideas, I want to know that they have actually studied their topic rather than just pontificating about their opinion. Moreover, I am bit leery of Christian-based beliefs fearing that I will be ostracized or judged if I do not perceive God in the same orthodox Christian way that they do, which happened in my own family.

So I judge and reject them, the Christian, before they have had a chance to judge and reject me. It is both annoying and somewhat amusing to me how I project onto others the very thing that I need to work on. Ah yes, the inflexible tenacity of my long held beliefs (parts).


The “Ugly” Part

Slowly my eyes began to focus on the hotel room, the abstract wall picture, the typical multicolored bedspread, and my open suitcase supported by one of those portable luggage racks. Claustrophobic since childhood, I always request the top floor so I can leave the curtains open to the safety of the vast outdoors. This morning, however, I was dismayed to see snow falling. After attending a workshop, I had stayed over because this was the day I could finally pick up my 14-foot travel trailer that I had impulsively bought the previous month.